Sunday, 16 October 2016









11 a.m., and Skunk’s at the just-boiled kettle in the staffroom, which he holds up by way of question to his fellow cog.
Skunk: Did you get
cog: Yeah yeah. Help yourself.
Sometimes he thinks about making proper coffee at home and bringing it in to work in a thermos; he has daily occasion to wonder at instant coffee’s propensity for refreshment, wrinkling his nose here as the water hits the powder in the bottom of his mug.
cog: Is it still raining?
He nods his head in reply, and then
Skunk: Oh, I meant to say to you, when I was, my half-day yesterday
cog: Don’t start me.
Skunk (laughing): I was on my way down into town, and you know that guy that brings the post, the stuff in the bags
making a sweeping gesture across the top of his skull.
cog: Oh yeah the guy with the shaved head. What about
Skunk: You know he never ever smiles, never, and he barely speaks to
cog: Yeah but that’s just, some of these guys probably
Skunk (flapping silence with one hand as the other holds the mug to his mouth. Then, while still swallowing): Mmhm... but this, yesterday, and I’m on my way down past, you know where all that scaffolding is?
cog:
Skunk (before he can answer): and I’m heading down there and I hear this damn loud horn go off and the first thing I’m think-, you know, you immediately think it’s a, it’s just drivers, and I look round and there’s this guy, the the postman, and he’s in his van and he’s honking away
batting the flat of his palm upon air
Skunk: honking, blasting away on the horn at me, and waving like a lunatic, you know
pulling an excited face and waving.
cog (laughing): Fuck. What the, the guy with the
placing his hand high upon his forehead.
Skunk: The very same. I waved back and everything, mainly because I didn’t know what the hell else to do, but you know, I bet when he comes in here today, it’ll be just
his face pulled long, unhappy.
With the mug tipped to his face but without actually drinking, just tipping the fluid to his closed lips, Brother Skunk allows a weak steam to condense upon his face.
cog: The other guy’s not much better, not Tony but
Skunk (into the mug): The guy in the green van?
cog (opening a packet of crisps): Uh-huh.
Skunk (still through the mug as the other eats): The guy that’s always running everywhere?
cog: Uh-huh, the one with the tattoos on his... wait a second
laughing.
cog: Actually I think that was the bus driver from no no, it is him, he’s got um, on his, he’s got a swastika and “Pete” written on his
with his finger indicating a spread across his forearm. Skunk places his mug down on the desk between them.
Skunk: I’ve never seen that. Are you sure it’s him?
cog: I think so, yeah, yeah.
Skunk: Is that his name, or is
cog (through more crisps): I guess. Hmm. He was in yesterday as well, and he’d, you know when he comes in he’s always running, he runs in the ehm, down the... I think what he actually does is he parks his van round the back, and then he makes all the deliveries round here from there but,
Skunk: And he never lets you fill in the time on the slip because he
cog: Because he’s, that’s why he’s always running. He gets it all finished in the morning, takes the rest of the day off.
Laughter.
cog: It’s true.
Skunk: You reckon?
cog: Why would I lie?
Skunk takes up his mug, winces at the coffee for the last time, sets it down once more.
Skunk: And what was he, what was he doing yesterday? Apart from running in his delivery?
Laughter.
cog: Well, he came in and ehm, he put the parcels down and he was flicking through the delivery notes and ehm, he, obviously he’d left ours back in the van, or, he didn’t know that at the time and I think he thought he’d left it back at the depot or something, and his face. He was
his own face twists puce in imitation rage, beginning to vibrate with the tension
cog: rrrrr
Skunk: Jesus he’s normally as quiet as the other bloke, really.
cog: Yeah but then, when he went through the slips and it’s still not there he growls out “Shit shite Christ sorry” all like that.
It is as if Skunk’s laugher bursts inside him, but does not leave his body.
cog: “Shit shite Christ sorry.”
Brother Skunk lets it out, and the door to the staffroom opens in.
cog: Hiya. What’s
cog: I was just telling Skunk about the, you know the guy with the moustache
Skunk (still laughing): The moustaches.
cog: Oh yesterday. The delivery guy.
cog (crumpling up the empty packet): Yep.
cog: What was it, something... “Fuck shite...” something “Jesus”.
cog (laughing): “Shit shite Christ sorry” I believe is the phrase you’re rather blindly groping for.
Laughter.
cog (in affected accent): Ahh indeed, that’s it, yes, thank you. “Shit shite Christ sorry”
and then working in the shop’s current catchphrase
cog: That. Is. Magnificent.
prompting the other two to laugh and join in a repeat
cogs/Skunk (together): That. Is. Magnificent.
More laughter as they rise and make to wash their mugs, the other cog letting the door close again as she heads back out onto the shopfloor.
Skunk: “Pete.”
cog: What’s that?
Skunk: “Pete”
laughing.
Skunk: If he comes in today, I’m going to ask him if that’s his boyfriend’s name.
Laughter, and
cog: You fucking will not.
Their mugs side by side on the draining board.